“Are you willing to be wrong?”
I was asked this question 3 years ago and there was a big “NO” from me. I was not willing to be wrong. I was willing to make other people wrong in order for me to be right, I was willing to make myself wrong for something just to prove the rightness of me through a different choice. I was using a tremendous amount of energy to “keep it together” and to fit in.
I was trying to fit into a reality that functions from everything being either right or wrong - or good or bad. A reality of polarities. A reality based on judgements.
I lived in a reality where it is wrong to be wrong…… you have to be right otherwise you are wrong, and being wrong is wrong, so from a very early age we learn to fight to be right. We learn to fight against being wrong and at the same time we also learn that it is bad to fight so we create a universe where we are taught to fight for and against and this is bad so we can’t be good, because we are bad for fighting. HOW MUCH judgement do we have to use to keep this loop going?
3 years ago I didn’t fully acknowledge that I was stuck in this loop of rightness versus wrongness and good versus bad and yet the question opened a door for me to look at different possibilities. The possibility of living in a world where judgement does not exist. When judgement does not exist there can be no right or wrong, good or bad - and this became my ask.
I started looking at the world around me for places and spaces where the energy of no judgement exists and the only place I found was nature! Nature has, more and more, shown me the energy of no right and wrong - nature is a place where there is no good or bad.
There is a bird's nest under the roof of my house - right above my front door.
The birds have been singing, when I leave the house and when I come home their chirping has been welcoming me. I have been sitting in my conservatory watching the offspring leave the nest and play on my patio. It has been such a delight, day by day, to watch these little bodies grow, their wings getting stronger as their feathers have changed and how adventurous they became.
Then one day I came home - and there hanging from the roof in what looked like a spider's web was one of the birds. A tiny lifeless body blowing in the breeze.
With help from my friendly neighbour, who lent me his extendable ladder and his foot to keep the ladder steady, we rescued the bird from hanging and his body received a final resting place in my garden - still with the string of fishing line rather than cobweb around his neck.
Not all that long ago - all of this would have been a lot of trauma in my world. I would have analysed the right and wrong - the good and bad in all of this. I would have asked a lot of questions beginning with "why......"
The other day instead of going into the wrongness of how the bird died I chose to look at the situation with the eyes of nature. There was no judgment of the fishing line or second guessing, how the bird might have been caught in this. There was no judgement of the bird getting stuck before it landed. There was no right or wrong way to get the bird freed and into a tub, whilst balancing on a tall ladder nor a right or wrong way to put the bird to rest in the garden.
The more I look at nature the more I am wondering what the planet would be like if we as human beings stopped judging. Do you judge a red rose as being more than a yellow rose? Or do you look at them as being different? Do you judge an oak tree to be right and a dandelion to be wrong? Or do you look at them as different?
The red rose doesn’t make itself wrong, when next to a yellow rose - nor does the yellow rose think it’s bad for being yellow. A dandelion doesn’t make itself less than an oak tree. It doesn’t make itself wrong for being considered a weed and the oak tree doesn’t make itself right for being considered a tree of magnitude and elegance.
Since that day some 3 years ago I have created a world for me, where I don’t have to live from everything having to be right or wrong - good or bad. I have changed this by asking questions such as: “what is right about this I am not getting?” - everytime I found myself going into the wrongness of a situation and also: “what is right about me, I am not getting?” - when I found myself wanting to be right - and not wrong.
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About the author
May Lloyd is joy, magic, and change with a capacity to create this in other people’s world as an Access Consciousness CFMW. She facilitates Access Bars Classes, Access Energetic Facelift, and Access Body Process Classes. She is also an Access Consciousness Abuse Hold Practitioner. She has a passion for working with bodies and creating possibilities of change by using hands on processes.
May also offers verbal facilitation tools to unlock those secret hidden judgements you are not aware exist, allowing you to create space and possibilities for you to choose you without being at the effect of judgements.